Does a wedding need a flower girl
You've finally decided who will serve as the flower girl on your wedding day. Whether it's your niece, baby cousin, child, or a friend of the family, it's no doubt exciting to bestow such an honor onto a child you care about. Now it's time talk through the details with her mom and dad-namely, what will she wear and will she have her hair and makeup done? While you probably considered the first question, it's no surprise if the latter never even crossed your mind.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Expert Tips to be the BEST Flower Girl Ever!
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What? No flower girl or ring bearer?!
The flower girl in my wedding turned 14 this week. That means I'm getting old too because Morgan was only 4-years-old when I got married. Time flies when you're happy. Seeing her mom's pictures of her now-teenage daughter reminded me that I've been wanting to blog about the roles of children and young people in weddings. Sometimes brides and grooms want to do the strangest things for unusual reasons, and it's my job to make it happen.
But a year-old ring bearer, or an overgrown year-old girl in a tutu tossing petals isn't always a good idea, despite your best intentions. Flower girls should be between the ages of 3 and 7. Eight is a stretch if she's a big kid. Junior bridesmaids are , although you can extend that younger if you need to.
Better to have a younger JBM than to have an Amazon flower girl. Anybody older is a bridesmaid, or maid or matron if she's married of honor. Ring bearers should be between the ages of 3 and 7 as well. Anybody older, especially if he's hitting a growth spurt, looks silly.
Generally speaking, all the young men and adults are groomsmen -- there is no "junior" category. As long as they can stand still and behave themselves, you can dress them up and put them in the lineup. All they have to do is follow the groomsman ahead of them. The best man can be put in charge of shepherding the younger guys in the wedding party, if necessary.
But the ring bearer and the flower girls should be kept together with supervision until the bride is ready to go down the aisle. You might be thinking that I'm being too bossy, telling couples what they should and should not do as far assigning roles to children, but really, I'm just trying to help. There's being "non-traditional" and then there's being just plain stupid. A few years ago we started seeing "flower boys" at weddings. Not just here on Vieques, but even at a few of my friends' weddings I attended back in the states.
I just about peed my pants laughing when I saw the little guys with their flower crowns and garlands, and then thought, wow, those are pictures most of them will LOVE in a few years. Look, I'm the most open-minded planner in the world, but draping little boys in flowers and forcing them to walk down the aisle behind the flower girls is just more than I can take.
I can't even make eye contact with my staff as I'm sending these little guys down the aisle because I'll totally crack up. Fortunately, flower boys are no longer a trend and we're seeing less of it, at least at destination weddings. There are other things you can have children do in a wedding if you want to include them but they don't fit the established age categories for traditional wedding party. If you're having communion, you can ask children between 8 and 14 to bring up the gifts.
If you're having a sand-blending ceremony, kids can help with that process too. An older child might be asked to do a reading if he or she is particularly good at that sort of thing.
The potential roles for children in a wedding are endless so there's no good reason to force them into roles that are not age appropriate and risk making them feel silly.
Also, you run the risk of having your wedding pictures look weird, for lack of a better way to phrase it. Many of my clients opt to host child-free or "adults only" destination wedding weekends for their friends and family. They make it clear from the beginning that the little ones aren't included, and the only exception should be members of the wedding party, such as the flower girl or ring bearer. That's certainly their privilege, but be warned -- if you have some guests or family who are upset you aren't including their children, you may take a little heat for the wee ones in your wedding.
You don't have to take it -- that guest is totally out of line. But I've seen it happen. One absolutely insane uncle at a wedding actually emailed me that he'd heard there might be children in the wedding party there weren't and that it better not be true because IF there were, his daughter should be a flower girl. Can you even imagine the nerve of a relative to email a veiled threat to the wedding planner?
Seriously, A I'm not the bride, and B Back off rude guy -- you are so far out of line! And he was shocked that I forwarded his missive to the bride and groom. Sadly, lots of my clients include children ONLY because they've been told they had to by their parents adorable nieces and nephews, ya know or because they would hurt their friend's feelings if her little girl who happens to be the bride's goddaughter wasn't asked to be in the wedding.
It's frustrating because brides usually cave under that sort of pressure. They feel like it will forever hurt their relationships. And it isn't just about the children in the wedding party.
A groom I know recently forced my friend to have his younger cousin as a bridesmaid, despite the fact the bride had never met this cousin. The young lady was a pain in the ass from day one, long distance. And an even bigger disaster the wedding week. If she had it to do over, the bride would put her foot down because she now she thinks it would have been worth it dealing with immeasurable blowback from the groom's family to do without the cousin. Doubly weird, the "baby" cousin had also been a bridesmaid in the groom's first wedding.
But I'm not going there. People out there who already have children, take note: it is rude to push your adorable little kiddos at your friends for their wedding party. Wait and see if an invitation is extended. Asking forces the bride into a difficult position where she either has to invite your little darling or not have a flower girl or ring bearer at all, lest she hurt your feelings and choose another child.
If you're insulted your child wasn't asked, keep it to yourself or grumble to your spouse. And get a good pictures of the ring bearer standing at the altar picking his nose for the bride's scrapbook. But do not make a big deal out of something that will cause the bride stress and won't really matter in your life six months down the road. You should have flower girls and ring bearers in your wedding if you want to, and really, you can do anything you want with those roles if you like.
We pre-petal many an aisle before the itty-bitty flower girl wanders down it because we know she's not quite up to the task. Are you kidding? Not over a sandy beach! That would be crazy. But choose children whom you love, and that mean something to you and the groom.
You should look back at the pictures from your wedding and see the adorable pictures of the children and be really happy to remember them at that age playing such an important role in your big day. Invite the kids, and spread the word as necessary not on social media, for God's sake , and move on.
If anybody gives you a hard time, remember they're the ones who are out of line, not you. Smile sweetly and say "I'm sorry you're not happy with my choice.
This is your wedding day. You should have exactly what you want. But for the love of God, please don't make those little boys carry flowers!
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Do I really need a flower girl ?
The flower girl has a significant and symbolic role in a wedding ceremony. A bride-to-be often finds it difficult to choose a flower girl. The challenge of the choice varies according to individual circumstances. If a bride has only one significant child in her life who is perfect for the role, then the choice is an easy decision.
If you are getting married, there is a pretty strong chance that you have been in a wedding yourself. Therefore you have some idea of how your bridesmaids should or should not be treated, because the memories are still fairly fresh in your mind. However, fewer people are ever flower girls than they are bridesmaids, and if you were a flower girl, it was probably at least 20 years ago! Thus, understandably, you might be a little fuzzier on the proper etiquette when it comes to your littlest members of the wedding party. Photo by Jay Lawrence Goldman Photography.
Should Our Flower Girl Have Her Hair and Makeup Done for the Wedding?
The flower girl in my wedding turned 14 this week. That means I'm getting old too because Morgan was only 4-years-old when I got married. Time flies when you're happy. Seeing her mom's pictures of her now-teenage daughter reminded me that I've been wanting to blog about the roles of children and young people in weddings. Sometimes brides and grooms want to do the strangest things for unusual reasons, and it's my job to make it happen. But a year-old ring bearer, or an overgrown year-old girl in a tutu tossing petals isn't always a good idea, despite your best intentions. Flower girls should be between the ages of 3 and 7. Eight is a stretch if she's a big kid. Junior bridesmaids are , although you can extend that younger if you need to. Better to have a younger JBM than to have an Amazon flower girl.
Tips for First-Time Flower Girls
Having a flower girl as part of the wedding party dates back to the Victorian Era or earlier. The original intention was to use her as a way to provide entertainment to wedding guests who would oooh and aah as she walked down the aisle. These days her main purpose might not be to entertain, but guests are still delighted when she walks before the bride. The flower girl is usually a close relative or friend of the bride or groom.
Some couples do not have a little girl in their life that is the right age to fill the role. One of the newest wedding trends as of late is to have a little boy act as the flower child. Couples are putting little boys in white suits or other outfits and giving them the same flower petals they would have given a little girl.
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A flower girl is a young female who scatters flower petals down the aisle during a wedding procession. In a traditional wedding procession, flower girls are usually members of the bride or groom 's extended families or a friend of either family and are usually three to ten years old. A flower girl typically walks in front of the bride during the wedding procession and scatters flower petals on the floor before the bride walks down the aisle, but some venues do not allow the scattering of petals. Her outfit usually resembles a smaller version of the bride's wedding dress. Traditionally, a flower girl's clothing was provided by the families of the bride and groom; however, most couples today expect the flower girl's parents to pay for her clothing and other expenses related to her participation. Some couples want a flower girl in the wedding party to enhance the aisle with flower petals.
What You Need to Know If You Have a Flower Girl
See our related wedding FAQs. Ok if I have a Ring bearer do I have to have a flower girl? I don't have any little cousins or any close friends with anyone young enough to be a flower girl. We were initially going to have our nephew be the RB but then decided not to have kids in the wedding party because it was too much to coordinate. Best man will hold the rings. No you can do whatever you want! But if you want one, I've seen where people have their grandmothers as flower girls and it's super cute. If that's an option for you.
If you are unsure what a flower girl should do, what they wear and what their role in the wedding is then our guide is here to help. By Sophie Cockett. The role of a flower girl is mostly just to look super adorable walking down the aisle and in your wedding photos. Image: Bruce Nevill.
Alternatives to Having a Flower Girl
When you're planning your wedding and deciding on your cast of characters, you may have no problem figuring out the group of friends and family members that you'd like as your party of groomsmen and bridesmaids. But when it comes time to figuring out if you're going to have a flower girl and a ring bearer, you may get stopped in your tracks — especially if you don't have any young friends or family members to take on that role. But rest easy, bride-to-be: You don't have to have a flower girl or a ring bearer, especially if you don't have anyone in mind for the role. You can either choose to skip having those two roles altogether and ask a groomsman to be in charge of your rings, or you can get creative.
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Но, директор, - возразила Сьюзан, - это не имеет смысла. Если Танкадо не понял, что стал жертвой убийства, зачем ему было отдавать ключ.
Родители согласились. Хотя Энсей Танкадо никогда прежде не видел компьютера, он как будто инстинктивно знал, как с ним обращаться. Компьютер открыл перед ним мир, о существовании которого он даже не подозревал, и вскоре заполнил всю его жизнь. Повзрослев, он начал давать компьютерные уроки, зарабатывать деньги и в конце концов получил стипендию для учебы в Университете Досися.
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Хм-м, извините, - произнесла женщина. - Не нахожу. Как, вы сказали, имя девушки, которую нанял ваш брат. - Рыжеволосая, - сказал Беккер, уклоняясь от ответа.